“He said what?!”
There are just some things that you shouldn’t say to a girl. Ever. But how can we expect you (men) to know what not to say, if we don’t tell you?
So, with that thought, I decided to ask some lovely ladies their opinion on what are the WORST things to say to a girl. We collectively gasped, guffawed, grimaced and giggled at the stories.
So, men, here’s YOUR article. Your guidebook on how to not get in the doghouse. Your lifeline.
Know that all of this is really for your benefit. Not to tear you down for the things you’ve said in the past. We’re not angry, we promise. We just want to help you so that you can have a successful future with a wife/girlfriend/best friend who is very, very happy.
Here are 7 things you should NEVER say to a girl.
1. “Somebody is PMS’ing, huh? / Must be the hormones talking!”
Pointing out that we’re in the midst of the most horrible time of the month will not magically make our hormones disappear.
Also, don’t say this to women who are pregnant/just gave birth. Hormones are really going crazy at that time. Treck carefully…
If you’ve accidentally said this to your girl, then please, buy her some flowers and/or her favorite candy. And, most importantly, never say this again.
2. “I can’t believe you’re eating that right now / You should probably not eat that doughnut/cake/fatty delicious item.”
Whew. This one’s a doozy.
Saying this to your girl just confirms in her mind that she’s fat/unhealthy/not good-looking enough for you.
Please remain in the “no judgement” zone while watching us eat.
3. “You look so pretty! You look different… like your sister!”
You should have stopped after, “You look so pretty!”
Please don’t compare her beauty to anyone or anything, unless it’s to a rose, a sunset, or something else equally poetic.
Through the poll I did, I heard men saying to the women in their lives things like, “Honey… you have a mustache!” And, “You’ve had enough to eat in college.” There even was a man who called one girl “chubs.” (He probably thought that to be such a cute, affectionate nickname… But it’s not, btw.)
4. “I work harder than you.”
This is something that should never be said to a guy, either. I’ve learned the hard way – telling someone that they aren’t working hard enough, or saying that you are better than them, is NOT a good way to motivate them to change.
Something I loooove about my sweet hubby is that he always compliments me on my work ethic. Even on the days he’s working 14 hours straight and I am ‘only’ working 8 hours, he makes a point to tell me he’s grateful for what I bring to our family. His love and encouragement motivates me to work even harder to accomplish the goals we have.
5. “I did the dishes last time/It’s your turn to fold the laundry.”
Keeping score = no bueno. Genuine love is not self-seeking. It’s not about keeping score so that you can turn in your good deeds at the end of the week for a reward.
For love to last, we have to check our inner narcissist at the door – (speaking to both guys and girls here). If you need something from us, just do us the honor of asking outright because chances are, we would love to do it for you.
6. “I’m really sorry for (fill in the blank)… But, we just both really need to work on ____.”
We can see through your little disguise. That is not a genuine apology. You don’t really see in yourself the issue you are addressing. A true apology does not include the word “BUT.” Period.
Do you want to win the fight, and lose the girl? The more right you are, the more alone you will find yourself.
Why don’t you check out Aslinn’s article on the Three C’s of Confrontation? She has some great tips on how to effectively communicate difficult topics in a way that will not just solve an issue, but bring you both closer together.
7. “I’m too busy.”
This is similar to #4.
If you are trying to throw down some major hints, this is the kind of thing you’d say to a girl you are trying to get rid of.
If you really Iike her, never ever (even if you are really busy) tell her you’re too busy. What she will hear is something like, “he hates me, I’m not important to him, he’s going to break up with me.”
Remember Dr. C’s article on fighting fair? If not, take a moment to review it to make sure that you aren’t on your way to World War III.
Neither male nor female are superior, but we are teammates.
Don’t worry guys, you’ll get your chance, “7 things you should never say to a guy” is coming up later this month. Look for it.
- Guys – What are some things that you’ve said to a girl that didn’t go over well? We’d love to hear your input!
- Girls – what are some doozies that a guy has said to you?
Comment below, and make sure “post to Facebook” is checked, if you dare…