7 things you shouldn’t say to your boyfriend/husband:
1. “Hey Bobby (Ex’s name), I mean..”
This is an obvious one, it really is, but the more you think you know NOT to do something, the more likely you are GOING TO DO THAT VERY THING. I say this, because this awful experience has happened to me TWICE!! So unless you have a magical rewind button that I have never heard of, you better start hoping that your man is gracious enough to overlook it if it ever happens.
2. “Sweetie do you need help hammering that nail? My (insert, father’s or ex’s name) taught me how to do that!”
We all know that we are just trying to “help,” but in his head, he hears “You’re incompetent, so give me that hammer because you obviously can’t do this yourself.”
This statement is comparable to them trying to teach us to cook like their mother… (I’m angry just thinking about that foolish phrase… excuse me for a moment, I need to forgive him for something he hasn’t done.) Wait for him to ask for help. Or, let him be. Some of us girls have a tendancy to Don’t be too helpful! They don’t want to be helped- because they are trying to show us their awesomeness!
3. “You never do anything for me!”
Get ready for a fight.
To men, we women are sometimes like “the song that never ends” (10 points for that song now being stuck in your head). They are constantly trying to figure us out. One day we say “Can you surprise me with flowers?” and then the next day we’re asking for them to plan the most romantic date ever, and then the next day… and the next day… And then we cry because they aren’t ‘romantic’ enough? So, when he hears those words “You never do anything for me,” he then feels unappreciated and like a failure.He works around 50 hours a week, and then has to constantly keep up with your demands? And that is a guy that has little in his schedule – add children, volunteer work…
Simply put, our guys are doing a lot, and in their minds they are doing it for us.
4. “Are you dating your job? Because the office gets to see you more than I do.”
Darned if they do. And darned if they don’t. Girls complain that guys don’t bring home the bacon, or enough of it (see number 5); but then when they do, they complain how long it took them to do it!
*note: I’m not talking about a man that is neglecting you and the family by being a workaholic.
Excellence requires that he be at work, well… working!
Be proud of your man, he is paving the way for your future and your children.
5. “I wish you made more money.”
Now this again is a lack of appreciation for all that he is already doing.
Are you comparing yourself to another couple who is further along in finances than you? If so, stop right now before you go crazy on your poor man, it NEVER (EVER!!) benefits to compare to others.
You are creating your own story with YOUR MAN! Don’t wish he was someone else…
6. “I wish you were manlier.”
Are you trying to snatch his cajones and run off with them? I hope not.
Slowly back away, and apologize, apologize, apologize… maybe beg for forgiveness?
Because honestly, you wouldn’t ever want him to tell you to lose weight or get plastic surgery, would you? Then don’t bash his manhood.
Love him the way he is! And if he’s just your BF, then maybe you have some things to consider.
7. “You’re not allowed.”
Unless you’re married to a toddler or you want to be like his mother, I would suggest you never speak to your equal part like that.
He’s an adult, too. Tell him how you feel (in the most logical way) and trust that he won’t purposely do anything that would hurt you.
We all want our relationships to last and be successful – so we better watch what we say!
If you find yourself saying any of these things, that would be a great time to ask for a “do -over”, or a “get out of jail free” card, so-to-speak. More than likely, he’s going to be thrilled that you are making a real effort to change.
Lover of fun times and friendship, and living up the newlywed life!