Girls, I want to let you in on a little secret: Guys do not sit around all year long cheerfully anticipating this “holiday” called Valentines Day.
As a matter of fact, to any pragmatic, unsentimental, hard-edged dude, Valentine’s Day can seem like a contrived, over-commercialized excuse to spend money on artifacts we would otherwise ignore. And let’s face it, we may never fully get the importance of this ersatz “holiday” to you; after all it was started to honor some Christian martyrs, who-knows-when….. How it became this romanticized frenzy we will never know…
Please be patient and gracious with us. We are trying to see it from your side, most years.
Soooo, how about we meet in the middle? How does that sound? To help you translate and decode
from guy-language, here are 3 scenarios you can anticipate:
1. He plans it with pleeeeenty of time… (Scenario probability = 22%)*
“Plenty of time” is a relative reference, but for guys’ intents and purposes, we will say the arrangements began earlier than yesterday. Your husband/boyfriend/dad may attempt to get you something and take you somewhere to do something that HE believes YOU consider special. I see two alternatives here:
Alternative 1: Boom!
If he nails it on the head and plans the perfect day and perfect date and it is exactly what you wanted and, “he was like, SOOOO cute!”… lavish him with ample praise. You’ve got a keeper! He is a very thoughtful man who is in touch with his feminine side – Haha, I kid, I kid… If he did a great job, then great! Please let him know, in a couple of days, that he will not need to “one-up” himself on the next occasion. Every regular guy will turn anything into a contest, even a contest against himself.
Alternative 2: Fail
If he fails miserably, play along. For his sake and that of your date-night. Give him this: he knows that this date is important to you, and though, he probably would rather ignore it, he spent time and money (definitely money) creating an experience that would be all about you. If he did not do so great, convince yourself that it is the thought(s) that counts. Trust me, he thought about you and the date A LOT!
2. He plans it last-minute… (Scenario probability = 77%)*
…I’m talking within the last 24-48 hours.
So if your man throws that date/card/gift together at the last possible minute (which is the most likely scenario in my estimation), this is what I can tell you: your guy just isn’t a big planner. Maybe he’s a little scattered. Maybe he thought Valentine’s Day fell on March 14th this year… Hey, it’s possible, he’s just a dude. Please keep in mind that, whatever the case, you have been on his mind … a lot. Once that bulb went off in his little, compartmentalized brain that, “tomorrow is Valentine’s Day,” he has been fretting, agonizing, worrying, thinking, stressing, dreaming, planning, rummaging what to do.
Here is another way to look at it: What if, in fact, his plans are last minute because he just could not come up with that “perfect” date? What if, since he has not found “perfect” (whatever that may be) he would not/could not commit to a plan or gift? It is very possible that those “last-minute” plans are not last-minute at all. Time simply got away from him because he wanted to make such an impression on you… Give the guy some sympathy, let him breathe easy and enjoy the plans that he did manage to set. Next time, throw him a few bones and lay down some clear hints, if you don’t mind….
3. He does nothing at all… (Scenario probability = 1%)*
He comes up empty. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada. No-THANG.
In this highly unlikely scenario (only 1% probability), I see two options.
Option 1: Something’s up!
If he’s your Boyfriend, this may be a clue that he’s not that much into you (something you may have already picked up on). If that’s the case, dump his butt and go hang out with some real friends. I don’t care if you have to be the third, fourth or fifth-wheel. Good friends will make it a fun night and will help you get your head in the right place.
If he’s your Husband – Yikes! Is he mad? Don’t accost him, just ask and get it worked out. Talk in “parallel” with him. If he was already mad, now he’s defensive ‘cause he knows he’s headed to the dog house/couch on Valentine’s Day!
If he’s your Dad – He is losing his mind trying to do something for your mom! Please help him!
Option 2: He Forgot
Don’t fret. It does not mean he doesn’t love you… He just forgot! I know, I know… “How could he?” Well, he’s a dude.
If he’s your Boyfriend – He may be too busy planning his next move when he drops you home tonight. Forget about Valentine’s… If he only connected the dots….
If he’s your Husband – He must be stressing out at work and that’s crowding his mind. If not, he would have scheduled it in his office calendar.
If he’s your Dad – Well, your mom did not remind him.
Hope this helps!
*Scenario probabilities were derived from absolutely no data at all. They are completely made-up. Kinda
like Valentine’s Day (???)
– Gabriel Martinez, Husband of 12 years – dad of 3 – executive at a top vacation destination in Orlando, FL
Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have given way to mass-produced greeting cards. Around 1.3 billion British pounds are spent yearly on cards, flowers, chocolates and other gifts, with an estimated 25 million cards being sent.
In the second half of the 20th century, the practice of exchanging cards in the United States was extended to all manner of gifts. Such gifts typically include roses and chocolates packed in a red satin, heart-shaped box. In the 1980s, the diamond industry began to promote Valentine’s Day as an occasion for giving jewelry.
The rise of Internet popularity at the turn of the millennium is creating new traditions. An estimated 15 million e-valentines were sent in 2010.
Valentine’s Day is considered by some to be a Hallmark holiday due to its commercialization.
Edited from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_day