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Ask Dr. C: Vampires, Zombies and Other Friends

It gets confusing. We all need friends and finding a new friend doesn’t just happen.

vampire friendsSharing an experience with a girlfriend makes it so much more satisfying and good memories cement long friendships. You may think its just about chemistry between you, but how do you figure out if your time is gonna pay off in a deep friendship?

1. Is she a vampire friend? She sucks the life out of you whenever you’re together. She doesn’t encourage, inspire or energize you.

2. Is she a zombie friend? She makes it all about her. No matter what you’re going through or have accomplished, she turns it around to be about her business.

3. Is she “liar, liar, pants on fire?” She can’t be trusted with your thoughts, feelings or dreams. Not only is she untrustworthy with you, you can’t trust what she says about herself.

There are some ways you can tell if she is a “keeper” as a friend.

These are also good things to decide about what kind of friend you are to someone.

> Does she have mutual strengths? Real friendships can be built when one of you isn’t always the needy one. We all go through times where we need a helping hand or advice, but give and take makes a solid friendship. Is she someone you can count on too?

> Can you be yourself around her? For example, if you’re happy being quiet in a crowd, but your friend is always trying to get you to “open up”….If you enjoy being spontaneous, but your friend wants to plan every activity…. Does she enjoy your personality?

> Someone who treats other people well, not just her friends. How does she treat the new kid in class, the younger siblings, etc. if she is mean to other people, your time is coming too. What is her standard of kindness?

> Someone who doesn’t try to get you to violate your own conscience. Does she respect your choices and opinions?

Friendships are one of the most beautiful relationships that exist. We want to make memories, have fun, dream and laugh together. Here’s to lovely friends! Dr. C