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Domestic Adoption – Micah and Joy’s Story

I love everything about family. I love parents, siblings, grand and great grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. The bigger family the better!

 

I was so excited to start growing my own family with my husband. We have two sons, 5 and 3 years old. They are so awesome! But after not being able to get pregnant again I started to wonder if maybe a large family wasn’t for me. And I can’t deny that life is a lot easier with only two kids who can walk and use the restroom. But the ease of two is no match for my desire to have more children. It became clear that we would not be able to just get pregnant and grow our family. We would need to either pursue infertility treatments or adoption. I was not excited to try fertility treatments. Its expensive and has no guarantee of working. Adoption can also be expensive and has lots of unknowns.. Not knowing which way to go, we didn’t do anything for quite a while. It wasn’t until this past Christmas that we made the decision to pursue an adoption.

 

It has been a heart changing experience for me and we have just begun the process. Although I have been diagnosed with secondary infertility, this heart for adoption didn’t really start there. It started with two women. A friend, longing for child of her own, and a pregnant woman I had not yet met. It was during the months of watching these two women find each other and give each other the hope they each were longing for, that I realized that adoption is much more than a group of people deciding who will raise a child.

 

I witnessed two women work together to give a little baby the best and the fullest life possible. I watched two women become “world’s best mom” in different ways. I watched these two women be brave for a little baby girl. And as I watched, something in my heart leaped within me. “Yes!!! This is incredible. I want to be a part of this!” I closed the door on the assumption that adoption is only for those who can’t have their own children. And I closed the door on the assumption that we were done having children since I wasn’t getting pregnant. Adoption is about a child. Its about families giving everything they have to give that child the best opportunities to thrive. We have much room to give in our home and in our hearts. It was no longer a question of if we should adopt, but rather, why wouldn’t we adopt?!

 

We have decided to pursue a domestic infant adoption, which means adopting within the United States. There are so many children in our very own city that need a family and we want to be one of those families. What is unique to domestic infant adoption is that it is the birth mother who selects the family that she wants to raise her baby. And that is what we want. It will be a great honor to be chosen and entrusted to raise a mothers child as our own. And that is what we will do. One of the things we are doing is preparing a family portfolio. This portfolio will include pictures and stories that will describe who we are, where we have come from, what we have gone through, what we are doing and where we are going. We will attempt to describe what its like to be a part of our family. This portfolio will be shown to birth moms until one mommy says, “This is the family I want for my baby. This is how I want my baby to be loved and taken care of.” EEEEEK! I can hardly wait!

 

We are excited and full of hope. And hope is a powerful feeling. Because even though our future child(ren) are not growing in my tummy, I love them and I long to hold them in my arms. Its like being pregnant with no due date.  I am making a list of baby names, Pinteresting (yes, it’s a verb), and even nesting. I have spurts of energy to purge, organize, rearrange, decorate, finish projects. I am even having preggo dreams where the baby is here and I still don’t have the car seat or diapers. I want to get everything in order so that I will be ready to take her in my arms, smell her sweet skin and baby breath and whisper to her, “I’ve been waiting for you and you are worth every minute of it. I love you.”

 

 

Its not just me who is excited. My husband is putting in extra time and effort at work so that we will have the neccesary funds to pay for the all adoption fees. And then there are my boys. They have been asking for over a year when we will have another brother or sister. Friends are always telling me that Liam is telling them about his baby sister that is coming. #Swoon.  Our very close friends are adopting from Ethiopia and hosted a Boot Camp fundraiser. Liam asked why they needed money. I explained that his friend, Ephraim, has a brother who lives in Africa and we need to help bring him home. I saw a light bulb go on in his head. “I have money Mama, I can give some of it so Ezra can get home.” #MeltMyHeart.  He counted out two dollars of coins into his pocket and gave it at the fundraiser. He was so excited that he could help. Even my 3 year old sees any baby item at the store and asks if we need to get it for the baby.

 

Mackubins 2013-17

 

Sometime in the next 6-18 months we will get to meet this child who we are already in love with. The not knowing can be daunting. But the joy and expectation overwhelm every fear and doubt. I am so happy to be growing our family this way. I am ready to meet and be forever connected to the mommy who picks us. I am ready.