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To the Girl Who Thinks She Has Nothing to Offer



Dear girl who thinks she has nothing to offer, 


I was you. I used to be the negative girl who never believed in herself. Growing up as a product of (multiple) divorces, I struggled with  self-doubt and fear.


I always thought I didn’t have much to offer. When I looked around, I decided I was pretty basic with nothing special that stood out. From a young age, I knew I wanted to do something meaningful with my life. I had big dreams to make a difference, but never knew what. Trapped in the “I cant’s”, I was always left with self-doubt and second guessing. The hard things in life terrified me. 


My excuses held me back.  I’ll never graduate college, the math is just too hard. I’ll never be in a job I truly love. This desk job will have to do. Why bother searching for my true passion? No one will ever take me seriously or listen to my ideas.  Speak to a crowd of people? No way, I get too nervous. Be comfortable in my own skin?  I hate how I look. And the list goes on…


Even when it appeared like I had it all together, these thoughts lingered for years.


Then, I met a group of Lovely women who were not self-doubters. They were quite the opposite. They were mothers, career women, and college students living out their dreams, or working hard to get there. Through their encouragement, I started really living.  I stopped living purposeless and began to believe that I did have something to offer this great big world. This began by telling myself: I can, I will or I am going to. I started to recite this new positive loop over and over again in my mind. 


It wasn’t until I began to believe in myself that I discovered my true passion and my dreams became a reality.


My “big thing” was becoming very involved with The Lovely Project! Now, I run the blog and social media accounts.  I lead and oversee Lovely mentoring groups in Orange County Public schools.  My fear of public speaking has been kicked to the curb (well, mostly), as now I speak to large groups of people.  I write curriculum, develop lesson plans and learned how to grant write and pursue corporate sponsors. Every week, I have the privilege of mentoring girls and watching them discover their dreams. (Which is by far the best part!) I’ve never felt more alive or fulfilled.


I wanted to get involved with TLP  because it changed my life and the lives of so many women.  When an incredible opportunity presented itself, I jumped all in. Did all of that happen at once? Nope. Did I know how to do most of that at the time? Definitely not.  I just kept working and inching along.  A mentor helped guide me along the way. Even when I was terrified, I put myself and my ideas out there.


I would have never thought I was capable of doing any of those things, even just a few years ago.


Lovely girl, it may seem impossible to do anything big now. However, when we finally start to believe in ourselves, extraordinary things can happen. You may have things to work though like I did and that’s OK. We are all works-in-progress


But please know, YOU are the awaited spark! You’re the girl that gets stuff done. You are the world changer. Whether you want to be an incredible homemaker or the next president, you have to start by believing that you can.





Your “big thing” will of course be different from mine. But, life is short! Now is the time to discover your passion and go for it! Start by telling yourself  I can,  I will, or I’m going to. Make small steps towards your goals. Journal your progress- all of it, the good the bad and the ugly. Find a mentor who’s ahead of you in life or a great group of girls/women who will have your back (Lovely groups are seriously #thebest!) Put yourself and your ideas out there and be willing to work really hard. 


I believe in you and your ability to overcome anything. Your potential is truly limitless. Don’t let your fear and self-doubt hold you back like I did.


We have one life to work hard, love deeply and leave a mark.  What will you leave behind?


Lots of Love,

A former self-doubter

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