I remember saying those hard words, “It’s ok for you to die.” I left the room, thinking I would have my time to say goodbye, but before I knew it he was gone.
My dad was being rolled out in a black body bag & it was then that I lost my best friend. I felt like a part of me died the day my dad died (we were so close, how could I go through life without my best friend?). One of the hardest things that I had to overcome was fear. I was afraid to face the pain I felt inside, so I pushed it down deep and tried not to feel anything. It was so exhausting, suppressing all of that pain. Whenever I found myself thinking of a memory of my dad, I would just run away from it. And because I wasn’t able to go to his funeral as it was in Canada — so I struggled with closure. I truly wasn’t okay; I thought I would never be okay.
It wasn’t until a Lovely girl reached out to me, befriended me and shared truth with me that my life began to change. I was so closed up, but there finally came a day that I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I discovered that facing my fears & allowing myself to feel were the only way back to a real life. For a time I was flooded with tears and emotions – but most of all relief: relief that I finally could face the fact that I had lost my dad. It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
Through the support of some Lovely girls, named Shanna and Hope, they guided me on a journey of healing, freedom and peace of mind.
I now feel alive and I’m fired up! – not just ‘getting through’ life, but living it, & allowing myself to experience the emotions of real life.
I am an adventurer and I feel excited each day just to be alive.
I know my dad would be proud.
Editor’s note: Jessica is one of the many girls you will meet on Saturday, Feb 22nd at the Lovely Project Experience. To read more of Jessica’s story click here.